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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
It's a Jetsons World All Around Us...
The Isotope Plugs You Into "The New"
It's no secret that we here at the Isotope are excited about new. Our hunger for learning the secrets of untested waters, birthing fresh ideas, consuming new devourables, and exploring the unusual modernistic world around us can only be considered "unquenchable." Perhaps it is the result of being born in the tail end of the last millennium when world-wide change occurred with increased frequency... or maybe it's just the result of too much sugar in our diets.
In honor of a world where space tourism is a reality we're going to place tongue firmly in the Isotope cheek and share with you a variety of strange and unusual only-real-life-could-be-this-ridiculous new products that remind us how great it is to be living in the 21st century. Enjoy!
Forget those lame kids of the 70's and 80's who thought having cookies for breakfast was so cool, we're talking about Liquid Cereal here!
No doubt these things have plenty of those vitamins and minerals your mother would want you to be starting your day off with. So go ahead plug your nose and dive into a dairy-based canned breakfast in one of four varieties: Apple & Cinnamon Liquid Cereal, Chocolate Liquid Cereal, Peanut Butter Liquid Cereal, and the frighteningly named Fruit Liquid Cereal. What a treat!
Liquid Cereal @ Bevnet
Good gods above, could anything be cooler than shotgun shells filled with meat seasoning?
Game hunters who are sick and tired of having to pick buckshot out of their freshly killed dinners are going to love this. Live ammo containing a specially formulated buckshot loaded with your choice of Cajun, Lemon Pepper, Garlic, Teriyaki, or Honey Mustard seasonings. Bag that pheasant and get delicious meat seasoning into that carcass at the same time!
More at SeasonShot.com
Hulk Doll w/ Monster Willy
World-famous for traumatizing British schoolgirls, it's the amazing Incredible Hulk doll with something a little... extra.
Found lurking in the prize stacks at Brighton Pier Fair, this superhero with more ended up going home with six year old Leah Lowland who won the green goliath after successfully knocking down all sorts of cans by tossing bean bags.
Leah's mum said "A hulk with a bulk like this just shouldn’t be allowed." Well said, Mrs. Lowland, well said!
Hulk Doll's Monster Willy
Go Wodka Extreme!
Three cheers for vodka in a tube!
You might have problems getting these babies through airline security, but those suckers at the movie theater won't bat an eye when they see you fooling with the top of some stupid looking tube. They pack 10.5% alcohol by volume and come in Cranberry, Lemon, and even "Energy" flavor. Just imagine how much fun you'll have switching one of these with your half-asleep room-mate's toothpaste!
Also, you gotta love these things for the name alone. Genius!
Go Wodka Extreme @ Strange New Products
Dwight Yoakam's Chicken Lickin's Chicken Rings
Imagine if you will no one's favorite country music star combining the great taste of chicken fingers with the even greater shape of onion rings. Now imagine it's all true and you could actually eat them!
Sure we think Purplos, the world's first purple-colored sausages, also sounds pretty nifty... but we've got to give it up to our man Dwight Yoakam and his amazing think-tank of food innovators. You guys are beyond brilliant.
Hilarious Chicken Ring write-up @ Boing Boing
Hulk Hogan Energy Drink
While Hufu - the Human Meat Tasting Tofu might have been a scam, this The Hulkster can tell you, most definitely is not!
Say your prayers hulkamaniacs and get a mainline shot of this medicinal tasting can of sweet vitamin B12 and all that other stuff that helped pump up the yellow and red ring warrior enough to body-slam Andre The Giant. Oh okay, that was actually steroids that did that... but don't let that stop you from swilling down a can of Hogan's energy drink!
Hogan Energy Drink @ BevNet
Preserved Duck Liver Snacks
Talk about mouth-watering!
We had to end this post with a big gun, so we're pulling out all the stops and going to where snack food technology is surely the most advanced, China! And how can you deny the sheer snack-food power of what must be one of the yummiest snack foods ever invented, individually-wrapped Preserved Duck Liver Snacks?
Just thinking of these babies makes our throats close up and stomachs churn with, um, delight. And no, Jared, these aren't for feeding to your cat... they're for you! Hooray!
See more close-up pictures and other worldly delights here
And for more wonders of the modern age, we suggest BevNet, and Strange New Products